Empowering Women over 40 to rise to their next level of potential
Let's take a look at month number two of the New Year. Remember January 1st? I do. I particularly remember how fresh and new the year seemed, and like many others, I created my list of "Resolutions" for the year. It felt, and was for me particularly refreshing this year.
Those of you who know me and my work (especially the Alexander Technique) know that I talk about habitual patterns, and how to overcome them, for a freer, happier body and mind.
Have you gone back to some habits that you wanted to say goodbye to?
U-huh. Me too.
I could share that the habits I most struggle with in my own life are the things I DON'T do.
1) Because I don't feel that I have the time
2) That I don't honor my own self care enough to make the time for
3) That I talk myself out of for being not important enough
Things like meditating regularly and playing the piano. Who has time for all that!
But guess what. I regretfully believe that these are not in the realm of procrastination after all. You see, I believe that the gentle art of not procrastinating is better placed in the category of self care.
In other words, it is more a matter of priorities. The new year reminds me that time is of the essence, and "resolutions" are about what we want to bring more of. Of what we want to FEEL.
More joy. More lightness. More ease.
All of the things I teach my clients.
Let's call this "How to have a happy life"
So...the first step to making change is to assess where you are. From there you can put some loving focus on what you want and where you want to point to. SO THAT you can plan and take action on what is in alignment with your desires. This is true for every area of your life be it your home, health or happiness. One of the biggest obstacles to creating the life you love is the tendency to procrastinate.
Procrastination can turn your wishes and desires into a VERY STUCK CONDITION that leaves you feeling trapped and unable to move forward.
Here are a few ideas for getting some momentum on your dreams and plans...
First, Realize that we are very habituated creatures. Although it is difficult to measure objectively, I would say that up to 90% of our day is lived on automatic, with just a few inspired thoughts and ideas sprinkled in that make us think "gee, wouldn't it be nice if I could (fill in the blank).
These habits are ingrained and become the patterns that become our actual accounting of our time. When procrastination surfaces it is because your desires have been taken over by your habitual, automatic behavior. The first step to removing this mode is gaining the awareness that it is happening (again) and that you could actually make a new and better choice for your well being.
Next, start to take back control of your desires and put in place little time capsules where you can do the things you say you want to do, in my case meditate and play the piano. You will have to create some kind of time or space system that can hold the doing of it.
For me, meditating first thing in the morning is best, so I can create a time and space container for it. Before I read or get ready for clients. Before breakfast even. For you it could be right before bed. The most important thing is to be consistent. In other words, to create a container for your goals.
You could spend some time first just deciding what you want to bring in more of, so that it doesn't get lost in the myriad of other important things in your day...but remember, because we operate on automatic so much, you may be fooling yourself about all of the time constraints, and in fact, you are simply not making enough time for what is important to you.
What is your big vision? What are the most important things on your list? Write that list first, and then look for the hierarchy of most valuable and important. Put those things on the top of your list. This includes home, health AND well being.
Now you can create a container to hold the habits that would help you manifest. My suggestion is that you start with just 10-20 minutes a day doing these things you love. But do them consistently and no matter what. Ask yourself how you can move towards these goals with ease and grace. Create a container that will help to amplify this habit in your life. For example, if you decide you want to be more organized, take small steps to clear clutter and organize specific areas. Decide on a specific time each day (one that is convenient for you) to begin to implement your new activity. Do this task at the same time each day. This will help you form a positive, life-affirming habit that will help you put your ideal vision on the fast track of success.
Lastly, celebrate that you have brought conscious presence to your desire. See the effects of your conscious attention and intention.
This builds awareness and creates new patterns, in the form of BETTER habits that will go a long way toward measuring the joy and satisfaction of a life well lived. YOU in the driver's seat of your life, instead of feeling like you are just running around putting out fires all the time.
So what do you want to create more of in your life this year? It's not too late to begin anew...
Remember, there is an art in not procrastinating, and it starts with what you really desire, and what you value.
Do you use Creative Visualization in your business and life? I do. Every morning. Years ago I learned a morning ritual process that helps me start my day with connection and inner visualization. The are a number of little things I do, in a particular order, that anchors me in my day. One of the most important and favorite things though, is the time I take to visualize what I want to create in my life three years from now.
Yes, I know. Three years is a long time. My coach back in 2009 was BIG on goal setting, and she had us dreaming up and writing down goals for 5 years, 3 years, 1 year, 6 months, and 3 months. 90 day goals are very manageable for me, and really keep me on track for the priorities I have for business and my personal life, and 5 years goals make me a little crazy, but the 3 year goals energize me.
Well, a number of years ago I put a few long term goals in place, and I started visualizing, and putting energy into really seeing them come to pass. And my #1 big goal for the long view, is TRAVEL! I love to travel and always have. But because I have been visualizing and seeing these trips come to view easily and happily, I just feel so pleased and lucky that they ARE coming so often and usefully. This picture is from a gallery in Vienna called the Leopold Museum that houses Egon Schiele and Gustav Klimt paintings. It is actually the largest permanent collection of Schiele in the world, and there is another Museum near by, the Belvadere, that has a beautiful collection of Klimt, including the famous "Kiss". Well, I was in heaven. Vienna itself is a magical city, and these painters have works I would otherwise never see if I hadn't traveled there this summer!
There were 7 cities we visited in Central Europe, including Budapest and Prague, so I am back with so much fulfillment and joy. Is it because I visualize? Yep! No question. The Universal Law of Attraction states that "What you focus on expands". What if you were focusing on FEAR? Well, that would expand too, so you would be attracting more anxiety, worry, lack...so don't go there!
Instead, take time each morning to bring yourself to a quiet place, then breathe and/or meditate for awhile, and here is what EXACTLY to do:
Now write me a comment below, and let me know how this went for you!! Is it travel? A country house? A new relationship with your ideal partner? The sky is the limit! Let's bring our creative imagination and visualization to a new level and start manifesting our dreams swiftly and easily...
I am beginning to create my three week program that will help Entrepreneurs get out of their own way an start to really thrive in their businesses by being willing to be seen more in the world.
Yes, it is true that we are all guilty of hiding behind our computers and not getting in front of other people and talk about our work. Why is that? The simple answer is FEAR.
Fear of exposure. Fear of not being perfect, having all of the ducks in a row "yet", still leaving room for getting those ducks in a row one day! Believe me, I know this habit because I lived there way too long.
"The only way around is through". Through the fire, through the potential rejection. Through the chaos and stress of trying many, many things and none of them working very well. It is a little like throwing spaghetti on a wall and hoping it sticks.
But really, the only way around is through. You have to feel the heat of the fire. Could be the fire of embarrassment when you say something that just doesn't land right, or that you wished that you could have said better or differently.
It could be the "crickets" you hear when you put out a new offering that doesn't get people interested so you only have one or two sign ups, after doing a LOT of preparation.
It could just be laziness. Just sayin. I am guilty of that one. I know there are a few priorities for my business that I should have done yesterday, and keep putting off. That dreaded phone call. Following up that third time because you think you are bothering the potential client (which is not true). Getting systems in place that will make the grunt work easier but it just seems too overwhelming.
This course is about you getting clear with yourself, and deciding that you are worth it, and getting into action on your dreams.
I am called the dream alchemist by some. My archetypal energy is the alchemist, and that's how I think and how I roll, and the people who are attracted to this kind of enthusiastic, cheerleader-drill sarge energy will love working with me. I am totally your advocate, but I want you to succeed and not waste time, so there is a little drill sarge in me too.
I do this because my own coaches have lovingly kicked me in the butt and busted me for having circular thinking. These just show up as blocks and obstacles in your way. Don't get me wrong...they are self-induced! You are doing this to yourself, and so getting through the mindset blocks is first and most important on your list.
These are fears of feeling uncomfortable (calling someone up), feeling pushy (if you follow up more than once), and a sort of ego fear of being desperate (we think we know what our prospects think and feel. This one is pretty insidious because it is about projecting our thoughts onto our clients, and that is just not fair...I am guilty of this too, especially thinking they don't have the money to work with me. Patronizing, actually).
And finally there is the fear of not knowing what to say, and the fear of getting a "no". So is that the end of the world? People say no for all kinds of reasons, usually not because they think poorly of you. Actually the opposite is true. I know that sometimes I have said no because the timing wasn't right for me or I had different priorities, but I usually admired the coach or practitioner for following up with me and remembering me. I felt seen and appreciated, not the other way around.
Now I will be sharing more details about the classes (which begin on August 15th for three Wednesdays). But for now, I am hoping that this blog has resonated and that you can take away a few ideas as well as have the courage to bust through some procrastination on getting yourself more visible, so that you can fulfill your soulful purpose and get your work out more in the world.
Let’s go back and think about why you started your holistic business in the first place. You were inspired by a healing modality, or starting your service based business and loved doing the work, but saw right away that there was so much to do, and found yourself getting frustrated with all you had to figure out on your own. It was taking you away from helping people. Maybe you hired an assistant, created a website, started doing networking. Maybe you were even excited to get out on your own.
But you didn’t like the marketing part.
Worse than that, you didn’t even WANT to do any marketing. You found yourself fumbling when you had to talk about or define the work you do, because you knew it was so much more than words can express.
Maybe you bought a program, a blueprint for how to create systems in your business, even hired an assistant to help you with the details and the technological things, but everything just started to feel awkward and inauthentic. So you dropped the ball. You met people but didn’t follow up much. You stopped doing introductions or even inquiring about where you could speak.
You saw the on-line world escalate wildly, but didn’t feel comfortable so you weren’t doing the things you KNEW were important to increase visibility and sales.
Oh, and the sales itself just felt yucky. You could barely get the price out of your mouth when people sincerely wanted to know.
Your confidence could probably use a boost. But there’s even more than confidence. There is courage, clarity, and BEING the excited, vibrant representative of your business too. Here is the good news... you can start to take your “calling” to a whole new level, while being calm and centered and completely true to yourself and your values. Follow along with these three easy and very doable steps, and you will rest easier tonight!
The #1 KEY to mastering your business and manifesting effortlessly, is aligning your values with the work that you are most meant to do.
It is hand-in-glove when that happens. And a little torturous when it doesn’t. Is Freedom your most cherished value? Family? Speaking your Truth? Service?
When you don't connect consciously with your values, you find yourself spinning your wheels, or even find yourself spinning out of control, never even finding the papers or files you created to make your signature talk, busying yourself with non-essential or superficial things because you are not connected to "WHY I DO THIS".
Why do you do this? Why did you start in the first place? Why did it matter to you?
A secret for getting to know your "why" is to ask yourself what makes you mad. What breaks your heart. What do you rant about endlessly? This sounds a bit counter-intuitive, but when your emotions are rising about things you are passionate about changing, you are getting close to what you most care about.
And chances are that you have a solution for this, in your own life and also for others.
Let me give you an example. Years ago I got divorced from a man I really loved. Our problem was money, and we fought about it constantly. I couldn't, didn't have any power what-so-ever to get my husband to change his habits, and we were going down with the ship. I felt powerless, and with no voice. And because of that, I lost the most important person in my life. I couldn't take the frustration anymore and just walked out.
Then I was on my own completely. The insecurity was terrible. The loss was heart-breaking. But I slowly got myself back on track on my own, and eventually realized that the biggest mistake I had made all along, was that I had given my power away. This included my awareness, my ability to create change for both of us, courage to take charge when he was faltering. I was wrapped up in his paranoia, and couldn't be the beacon that I know now would have seen us through the hard times.
Now I am passionate about not letting that happen to other women. I coach them to stand in their power, speak their truth, and be way-showers for others. No victims here. Take 100% responsibility for their lives and the power they have to create magic.
I took the most painful experience in my life, and learned to stop creating the problem. And I know I help women with this issue. they tell me how much I am able to help them turn that pain around in their lives. It was my big "why"...learning to stand in my truth and in turn help others so that they don't have to suffer like I did and lose what they love.
I know. You have been through the ringer with all of the marketing coaching, the business-building strategies, the promises that coaches have made you feel are the last-best-hope of creating your heart-based business for passion and profit.
I've been there too. Spending countless thousands of dollars on blueprints, home-study products, social media magic pills....you get the picture.
What I have done is to go back to my true inner guidance on all of this. I had to scrap everything and start over. Feelings of failure aside, it was also a big mess. I changed the name of my company three times, each time being totally excited that "Yes, this is it!" only to realize later that there was no "business" there. the people didn't really want what I had to offer them. Not in that format.
I have spent 30 years in the healing arts, and when I was ready to get out and share what I thought was the best of the best with my potential peeps, it just landed on deaf ears. I didn't have it afterall.
So this is what I did. I rolled up my sleeves, and took the deep dive inside. I made a decision that whatever my soul's gifts are would be authentic, natural, and in service to others. I didn't care anymore whether anyone said they wanted to work with me. It really had to come to that.
I had to come home to my self, to my soul, and what my true mission is completely outside of whether anyone cared or not. I had to give myself the self-care first that set me up on a solid foundation of truthfulness, and not trying to be a copy of the latest ideas of the big guys.
Those coaches GOT big by connecting with something that they had to give, that came easily to them, that came in the voice they had to share the material through, and because they were 100% in alignment with what they had to share. Oh, and they were there at the beginning of the coaching craze...I know because I knew a few 7 figure coaches when THEY were in debt and just starting out! One of them lived in my town!
Now the first thing I thought, was "well if she can do it so brazenly, why can't I "? Not such a smart bit of logic there. What created the perfect storm of someone else's success is NEVER going to work for me! Because I don't live through the lens of their point of view, their circumstances and opportunities, and my way of passing through the "dark night of the soul" is completely my own!
But my history is pretty special in it's own right. Let me tell you a little about me. I was a very emotional, poetic, and passionate kid. I played the piano in salons when I was 10 years old. I was slated for a life as a concert musician. I even started college as a music major.
But then I found dance. It was my passion. I couldn't not dance! I started ditching music classes to do improvization, which at the time I thought was the most magical thing ever. I attended modern dance concerts, choreographed, and eventually moved to New York City to try my luck at the big time. (More later)
With over 30 years as an Energy Healer and Coach, Diane brings her wealth of mastery of the body/mind/being to her clients. Diane started her career as a dancer and choreographer in NYC, and expanded her healing modalities with The Alexander Technique, Reiki and CranioSacral Therapy, and Yoga. She brings her depth of knowledge of the body and emotions forward to coach women to be the charismatic leaders that will bring in more clients, and impact for their meaningful work in the world. Reach out for a conversation at firstname.lastname@example.org